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The wind blows hard against this mountain side,
across the sea into my soul
It reaches into where I cannot hide,
setting my feet upon the road

My heart is old, it holds my memories,
my body burns a gemlike flame
Somewhere between the soul and soft machine,
is where I find myself again

Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light

When I was young I thought of growing old,
of what my life would mean to me
Would I have followed down my chosen road,
or only wished what I could be

Kyrie Eleison - Mister Mister

For those of you who know me already: Thanks for keeping in touch.
For those new to the expiereience: What are you thinking?

This opens a new chapter of life for me, and kyrie eleison is the only mantra I can think of to get me through it. Life has been through some major ups and downs this past year and the year before. Some you may know about, others you may not. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you fall into the latter category. Don't take offense at that, there are very few people (2 I believe) that are actually in the "know about it all" category. I have my reasons for this, please don't feel bad, it's just the way I am dealing with things.

I have been accepted to a college in Nevada, I'm very much looking forward to going to. I'll be leaving in January.

I have returned to collecting quotes, jokes and taglines, if you have a good one of any of the above, please send them to me, either e-mail or just leave a comment. This helps me focus and do something proactive, rather than grind my teeth (which yes I do..It's a habit that started around faire time this last year, from stress..) Don't worry if you think I've heard it already, I enjoy getting e-mail and comments even if that's the case, makes me feel special.

One of my very good friends has a wonderful bio page where he expounds on some of his beliefs and ideals, I wish I could focus my thoughts long enough to write something like that. Mostly, I just tend to ramble, like I'm doing now, oh well..

I find that I am missing some aspects of the St. John's College life. Philosophical, political and religious discussions have been in short supply, and I dearly miss them. If anyone's read Plato's Republic and cares to discuss it, I would be more than happy to.

Please be patient with me, when I am slow to update, but also, if you don't see one for a while, send me a note and remind me, I want to do better (regular) posting, but I forget, or get depressed and hide in my room..either way. Which brings me to my second point:

I'm not really sure if I should do this or not, but here it goes anyways. Many people who know me, or rather think they know me, are in for what I hope, won't be too devasting a shock. I am not currently, nor have I been for some time now, a happy person. I'm working on it, and I'm getting there a little bit at a time. Please don't send you condolences, I don't need pity. But it's time I was honest with myself, with everyone. It's one thing to be optimistic, but there comes a point where it's all a facade, and your happiness is so artificial it's become a shirt you can take off and put on. That is not who I am, I know it's not. And if I can be there once, happy that is, I can darn well be there again. Now, this starts with an optimistic attitude, but also with honesty, realizing and accepting that I'm not there anymore and that it's time to get back. Again, this is -not- a plea that you flood my jouranl with "I'm so sorry things are bad" though there is a time and place for those. This is simply, a confession of sorts, starting fresh, with a clean slate.

That's all, for now. Loves, Tamber

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